Somewhat girlie night..

So, as I was feeling a little girlie tonight drinking my Skinny Girl Margarita and listening to my Adele station on Pandora, I couldn't help but feel a little bit of sadness and guilt whenever Amy Winehouse showed up on the playlist. I'd think to myself, 'No other voice will compare to her', and 'So bummed I never got to see her in concert.' I have a couple of her CD's, and her F*#k Me Pumps is one of my favorite songs. I have always had a soft spot for gals with soulful voices: Amy, Joss, Adele, and Etta as they have somehow touched a part of my heart because of the depth and soul that their voices so represent. Historically, there have been artists that have fallen to rest in peace at the same age and time in their careers as Amy did, but you can't help but feel sadness that no one was there to help her come out of her dark place before she fell. Was this a classic case of the rock star lifestyle? Or is it just a reminder of how deep and lost artists (musically or any other art form) can get at certain points of their careers? The pressures to produce material, fallen relationships, loneliness..they all play some role in an artist's journey. The evidence is often in their songs. For the average person, obviously seeking solace in drugs is not likely to lead to a productive solution. After all, what kind of boss will say it's ok you missed a meeting because you were hungover from your overdose the night before? Sorry, a bit of cynicism. But, it kind of serves as a lesson. A lesson to not fall to the bottom alone.  There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. One is typically not so bad, after all, who doesn't appreciate a little down time and alone time every once in a while?..but when you fall and find yourself lonely versus alone is when you have to find the strength to seek help. Oftentimes, that is a test of one's inner strength. So, is it fair to ask if some of the artists that have searched for solace in a mind altering drug really that strong of a person? Sometimes, the answer is no and the unfortunate issue evolves to the pressure of being a celebrity. Part of the full circle. Amy did say that she was 'just a musician'. What kind of 'musician' are you in your corner of the world?

We can't go through life seeking for a cheat way, easy way, no effort way, non-challenging way..you get my point out to find minimum exerted effort in life and call it successful, right? Adversity comes full circle. Your inner strength is tested in times of adversity. Pressure to get the job done right, produce a sufficient amount of sales numbers, athletic statistics, write and record a hit song..an internationally known musician just has extra perks, right?..Oh, wait..so it's ok. Mental issues have a way of exposing their ugly heads when a person is lonely at the bottom with no one to help pick them up, or when the pressures of your career lead to such intense amounts of pressure that you crack or cave into an easy way out..only to find yourself alone when it comes to crunch time. I can't help but wonder if the element of self-responsibility becomes a factor that needs to be re-evaluated? Well, I'd say yes. After all, in the end we are each responsible for ourselves and our own actions.

R.I.P. Amy. I will jam your beautiful, troubled songs, and keep you in my memories for years to come.