Feeling comfortable being
uncomfortable? I hope not.
I
sometimes wonder if I will ever be 100% comfortable in my own skin. I mean, as
a thirty-something female I would’ve thought the answer to be yes by now. However,
I believe one of the reasons I am not 100% comfortable in my own skin is because
I am always striving to be better at everything I do, whether it’s fitness or
athletic related, being better at being a mom, partner, or business-woman Ultimately,
I really don’t want to be 100% comfortable in my own skin. My fear is that if I
were to come into that state of being then I would stop doing the best I could
at everything I do. I would stop striving to be better and seek improvements. I
owe it to myself and those around me to do the best I am capable of and be the
best I can be while continuing to strive to be better. Huh? That was a wordy
sentence. The constant state of being a work in progress is healthy, and the
concept of being comfortable seems uncomfortable.
People
tell me I’m competitive and I often look at them wondering what they see that I
don’t because I personally only find myself to be competitive with myself. I do
my best to not compare myself to others because I know first-hand that everyone’s
capabilities are different. Instead of comparing myself in an unhealthy competitive
manner with others, I admire others’ capabilities and strive to one day at
least be close to his or hers abilities in my own way, the best I can. The
journey of continually seeking improvement is a good one. It’s a sign of
personal growth. When one has reached the point of not feeling he or she needs
to improve is when he or she will begin to descend in whatever it is he or she
has become comfortable in.
Judging
by the dreams I sometimes have in my sleep, there is still a little bit of an
insecure redhead girl inside my subconscious. Dreams that include not being
picked for a team or friend circles because I wear funny shoes, don’t have
makeup on, or don’t have a good enough physical shape or abilities. We girls
will be girls I guess, but this subconscious-mind somehow keeps my conscious-mind
in check to continue to strive to be better at everything I do but I don’t read
too much into it. Don’t get me wrong, the journey to continually strive to be
better is not some sick way for me to seek approval of others. Honestly, I don’t
care about approval or permission from others but rather care about testing my
own limits and capabilities because I know in my heart of hearts I am capable
of being better. The least I can do is my best. Anything less than my best in
my mind is considered disappointing, and I hate the feeling of disappointing
myself more than anything. The challenge from that carries over to my
expectations of others. I often find myself holding others to my own standards
and have to come up with ways to not be disappointed by others. After all, not
everyone strives to be the best at what they do and their version of doing
their best and capabilities is different than mine, respectively. I chock that
into the personal growth category. As a parent and a coach I have high
expectations of others but also am mature and wise enough to know that each
individual has to ultimately look within him or herself to find their better
self. I have come to the realization that I am not responsible for other people’s
actions or thinking. I can only be responsible for my own. I am in a position
to mentor and guide others but know in the end the element of free will is what
makes us unique, and that I have to focus inward to be responsible for myself.
I
don’t see this thinking as a character flaw, but view it as an opportunity to
influence others in some way, and as more of a leadership characteristic.
Natural born leader? Not this chick. I arose from adversity and life-changing
events to find myself on this path. I believe that leaders are made, and leaders
are developed. The concept of being uncomfortable with being comfortable only
helps me improve in various areas of my life and is my own leadership trait
that I use for motivation. However, don’t get too comfortable being
uncomfortable.
I
have recently realized that visions of the big picture clouded my vision to
accomplish the small objectives it takes to be a part of the big picture. I am
of the thinking that accomplishing big goals is best done by knocking out the
small steps it takes to get there first. Chewable chunks, one bite a time,
however you want to phrase it. Losing sight of what’s in front of you and what
needs to be accomplished at the given moment will not make you a part of the
big picture. In business school and business planning there is a lot of
emphasis on an entrepreneur’s or company’s vision. There should be more
emphasis on not getting wrapped up in the vision to a point that one loses
sight of the objectives it takes to accomplish the highly regarded vision.
Visions change. Dreams change. Humans adapt. The best way to do that, at least
in my corner of the world, is to focus on chomping away at the objectives and
tasks at hand on a daily-basis using strategies best suited for the individual.
Staying uncomfortable now brings out the best in people and often re-shapes their
vision. Take a moment to self-reflect and determine what areas of your life you
need to improve upon. Develop personal strategies to adapt and look at improvements
one step at a time. Realize you won’t know every step along the way and risk is
part of the life cycle. Embrace the concept of being uncomfortable with
yourself and in your own skin for it will inevitably lead to personal growth.
~Cat~
