Wednesday, June 20, 2012

You know, that uncomfortable feeling...


Feeling comfortable being uncomfortable? I hope not.
I sometimes wonder if I will ever be 100% comfortable in my own skin. I mean, as a thirty-something female I would’ve thought the answer to be yes by now. However, I believe one of the reasons I am not 100% comfortable in my own skin is because I am always striving to be better at everything I do, whether it’s fitness or athletic related, being better at being a mom, partner, or business-woman Ultimately, I really don’t want to be 100% comfortable in my own skin. My fear is that if I were to come into that state of being then I would stop doing the best I could at everything I do. I would stop striving to be better and seek improvements. I owe it to myself and those around me to do the best I am capable of and be the best I can be while continuing to strive to be better. Huh? That was a wordy sentence. The constant state of being a work in progress is healthy, and the concept of being comfortable seems uncomfortable.
People tell me I’m competitive and I often look at them wondering what they see that I don’t because I personally only find myself to be competitive with myself. I do my best to not compare myself to others because I know first-hand that everyone’s capabilities are different. Instead of comparing myself in an unhealthy competitive manner with others, I admire others’ capabilities and strive to one day at least be close to his or hers abilities in my own way, the best I can. The journey of continually seeking improvement is a good one. It’s a sign of personal growth. When one has reached the point of not feeling he or she needs to improve is when he or she will begin to descend in whatever it is he or she has become comfortable in.
Judging by the dreams I sometimes have in my sleep, there is still a little bit of an insecure redhead girl inside my subconscious. Dreams that include not being picked for a team or friend circles because I wear funny shoes, don’t have makeup on, or don’t have a good enough physical shape or abilities. We girls will be girls I guess, but this subconscious-mind somehow keeps my conscious-mind in check to continue to strive to be better at everything I do but I don’t read too much into it. Don’t get me wrong, the journey to continually strive to be better is not some sick way for me to seek approval of others. Honestly, I don’t care about approval or permission from others but rather care about testing my own limits and capabilities because I know in my heart of hearts I am capable of being better. The least I can do is my best. Anything less than my best in my mind is considered disappointing, and I hate the feeling of disappointing myself more than anything. The challenge from that carries over to my expectations of others. I often find myself holding others to my own standards and have to come up with ways to not be disappointed by others. After all, not everyone strives to be the best at what they do and their version of doing their best and capabilities is different than mine, respectively. I chock that into the personal growth category. As a parent and a coach I have high expectations of others but also am mature and wise enough to know that each individual has to ultimately look within him or herself to find their better self. I have come to the realization that I am not responsible for other people’s actions or thinking. I can only be responsible for my own. I am in a position to mentor and guide others but know in the end the element of free will is what makes us unique, and that I have to focus inward to be responsible for myself.
I don’t see this thinking as a character flaw, but view it as an opportunity to influence others in some way, and as more of a leadership characteristic. Natural born leader? Not this chick. I arose from adversity and life-changing events to find myself on this path. I believe that leaders are made, and leaders are developed. The concept of being uncomfortable with being comfortable only helps me improve in various areas of my life and is my own leadership trait that I use for motivation. However, don’t get too comfortable being uncomfortable.
I have recently realized that visions of the big picture clouded my vision to accomplish the small objectives it takes to be a part of the big picture. I am of the thinking that accomplishing big goals is best done by knocking out the small steps it takes to get there first. Chewable chunks, one bite a time, however you want to phrase it. Losing sight of what’s in front of you and what needs to be accomplished at the given moment will not make you a part of the big picture. In business school and business planning there is a lot of emphasis on an entrepreneur’s or company’s vision. There should be more emphasis on not getting wrapped up in the vision to a point that one loses sight of the objectives it takes to accomplish the highly regarded vision. Visions change. Dreams change. Humans adapt. The best way to do that, at least in my corner of the world, is to focus on chomping away at the objectives and tasks at hand on a daily-basis using strategies best suited for the individual. Staying uncomfortable now brings out the best in people and often re-shapes their vision. Take a moment to self-reflect and determine what areas of your life you need to improve upon. Develop personal strategies to adapt and look at improvements one step at a time. Realize you won’t know every step along the way and risk is part of the life cycle. Embrace the concept of being uncomfortable with yourself and in your own skin for it will inevitably lead to personal growth.
~Cat~

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