What do you fear?

Do you fear rejection or do you fear success? That’s a question most people don’t think about enough. Oftentimes, we don’t ask for what we want for fear of rejection. At least that’s how it appears on the surface. But if you look deeper, chances are the underlying issue could be fear of success. But why, why would someone fear success? Isn’t achieving success our ultimate goal in life?  We are programmed to work and be successful in relationships, hobbies, personal interests, keeping a clean house, staying organized, academics, business, etc. no matter the size of the coveted success. Success is that ultimate accomplishment in life that calls for celebration. I could go on and on about how we are taught from an early age the value of being successful but you get the point. Bottom line: sometimes we just aren’t ready for success of great proportions. This can be because of any number of reasons but I think that one of the main reasons is because of lack of understanding on how to handle success because there may be no real plan in place to move you and your business forward to carry success to the next level. That ponders the question: How much success is enough? Do you settle for a certain amount of success, or do you continue to strive for more? I believe that striving for success and accomplishing success is a constant evolving element in life, but ultimately, it depends on the person’s goals. Assuming he or she has definitive goals and knows which direction they are heading in, personally and professionally. Setting goals and making plans does not ensure success and success is not totally dependent on planning and goals. Moving success forward to something even bigger requires planning and goals.

Think about when you NEED to get something done and the task requires asking for help or input from others. Chances are you don’t give the fear of rejection a second thought when asking for what you need because you are so focused on getting done what needs to be done that you do whatever it takes to get it DONE. This mentality makes me consider the differences between wants and needs. When we need something, we get it. When we want something, eh, we may not pursue it with such determination, especially if it’s not an easily attainable want. So, is the fear of rejection based on wants? I would like to think that there is an element of fear attached to rejection when pursuing a want versus pursuing a need. When we are focused on needs, we focus on success and accomplishment, not rejection. You’re never going to get what you need on your own if you don’t make the pursuit a priority to succeed in getting what you need.  So, if you want success is it harder to get what you need to accomplish your goals? Just know that if you need success you are more likely to accomplish what you want in order to get what you need. Side note: if you don’t have a plan in place with set objectives to carry goals and success forward forget about celebrating anything long-term. Short-term, quick shot success will be about as far as you’ll get. Move on to a need and away from the want. Do we need success to validate ourselves? Not really. Success is in the eye of the beholder and one should not focus on what others’ consider to be success, but rather focus on moving forward in life, making a difference, and finding satisfaction in what he or she has achieved.  

A.D.D. Moment: This takes me to another psychological approach that many businesses use when working to accomplish sales goals, quotas, etc. (needs). There are some business motivators out there who will coach you to ‘go for the no’s’. Well, that’s great on the surface but if you look deeper that mentality can lead to settling for mediocrity or failure. You see, the problem with going for no’s and making it your main focus (especially in prospecting) is that we get satisfied with making a ton of calls and receiving a subsequent amount of no’s. I don’t know about you but isn’t it more important to NOT take the no’s personally and strive for the yes’s? Mediocrity is not something one should settle for in life, but maybe that’s just me. The mental strength to not take the no’s personally far outweighs striving to achieve the no’s when considering success in business, whether in prospecting, sales, or seeking help from others.  You can tell me NO all you want. I’m not responsible for your decisions. I’m responsible for a plan to move forward.  I’m responsible for my own success and failure, not yours. Considering this approach, I don’t fear rejection. I will only fear success if I don’t have a plan or goals with set objectives in place. How do plan on handling rejection and success? To be continued in evolutionary proportions…

~Cat~

Hey, Leap Day only happens every four years...

Ambitious or stupid? Leap Day 2012 trail time..

There’s no question that running frees the soul. Many thoughts are cleared and many ideas are developed as we log miles on our runs. Running trails, getting muddy, conquering hills, being defeated by hills, and just getting ‘lost’ in the woods works wonders for my thought processes, and I always finish with a feeling of accomplishment. Today was no different. As I embarked on what turned out to be a 5-mile muddy, hilly, bust my ass trail run today. I realized that the one thing I will always have is my time alone with the Trail Gods. The stresses of life have a tendency to rob us of our ‘me’ time and honestly running deep in the woods is an escape for many of us as we become unavailable to drop everything and fix problems that our lives oftentimes revolve around, especially in our work life because we’re in the middle of the woods somewhere.  

Today, I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want to return to the rat-race of life. I wanted to get in at least a few more miles but my logic stepped in. Logic told me that as ambitious, fabulous, and appealing a few more miles sounds, it would be stupid for me to pursue them (at least for today). The unfortunate fact that I haven’t had much trail time in the past few months (and my stomach was growling) called for me to end today’s run on mile 5. I’m ok with that. I still have a sense of satisfaction and the Trail Gods were good to me as I ran what turned out to be my own version of a tough mud run with hills from hell that put my glutes in knots. Life is still good…no, life is better. But this thinking is a common theme. Here is an example of the internal arguments (think of having a good angel sitting on one shoulder, and the evil angel sitting on the other shoulder) and A.D.D thoughts a trail runner often experiences: “run more…”no it’s time to stop”…”no this running feels so good don’t stop now”…”embrace the runner’s high”…”catch the runner’s high again”…”your knees and hips are getting pissed”…“don’t stop! run through the pain”…”your body parts will adapt”…”maybe if you stop for a second and just stretch you can go that extra mile”…“spend the day doing what you love”… “no, you have life obligations to tend to”…”who cares, life is better out here”…I could go on and on. But anyone who knows the feeling of being in the woods with just you, the mud, the hills, the elements, and the Trail Gods knows that the experience is awesome, incomparable to other running workouts, thoughts are born and sorted, and perspectives are realized making for a better life. Embrace the trails and come out of the woods a physically and mentally stronger person.

Happy running and happy trails!

~Cat~ 

The year of kicking life in the shins...

As I was sitting at home working on Mastery Tests for my new job today I couldn't help but reflect at how 2011 was a complete whirlwind...wait, wasn't 2010 a whirlwind? 2009?...Honestly, the past several years have been so trying for me but out of it I have become a stronger person inside (and a little outside). You see, I've always been a firm believer that lasting through adversity only makes a person stronger. It can be a game of survival. It's similar to what I say after a really tough workout, 'well, I'm not dead so I must be stronger.'  The past couple of years have proven my own theory. I know people experience the unexpected and other adversity at points in their lives, but mine seemed to escalate and explode this year.

On a positive note, I had closure on a couple of issues in my life and am happy to move forward... A wiser, funnier, and up for the challenge of creating my own future type of Cat Woman. Despite the turbulence, I have managed my life's situations in ways that have kept things moving forward, kept the people close to me sincere, and myself humbled (almost hitting rock bottom, almost). I sometimes wonder if this journey that is my life will ever slow down, but I don't know if I want it to. Often it's not the end result that matters, but rather, the journey. So, on that note I am ready to close the chapter on the year of Kicking Life in the Shins, also known as 2011, and move on to make 2012 The Official Year of Kick Ass. Continuing the drive of grabbing life by the horns, throwing it around a bit, and officially kicking its ass will bring new accomplishments and success with same ol' me. All the while continuing to make my journey a fun one.

Yours in strength (inner and outer),

~Cat~

The value of a smile..

Yesterday was Monday, and it was raining. Usually I don't let those two factors determine my mood. But yesterday I was in a pretty crappy mood. Then of course, lately my stress levels have been pretty high, so unfortunately, the fact that it was Monday AND it was raining effected me a little bit. I typically look at Monday's as a fresh start. New week. New business. New opportunities. Another chance to start the week off right and make it better than the previous week.

As an entrepreneur and a person who works in sales, most of the time I am conscious of my appearance, demeanor, facial expressions, perspective, etc. Always asking myself the question: "Would I approach me?" Anyone who owns a business, talks with others on a daily basis in business, or has a market to serve understands the fact that one must be 'approachable'. Not stand-offish and bothered by others' inquiries or conversation. People pleasing isn't the key to success in business, but relationships are key, so it's important to be trustworthy, approachable, and smart. So with that in mind my personal 'ism' to success in life is: "Smile, you'll make more money." Of course it's a simplistic approach, but in perspective a person is more likely to attract others when he or she has the outward appearance of being happy. The easiest way to share that feeling is to simply smile. Be happy to help others. Engage with others. Be genuine. Smile. I have even gone so far as to get dental work done to make sure I'm at least confident in my smile and folks aren't turned off by my smile.

Back to Monday...after the meeting my mood felt a little better because the meeting was positive, encouraging, and very informative for the sales team. Pumped and ready to book appointments. The stresses of my personal life and finances still pressed on in my mind though. When I stopped at the gas station and was walking in to go put '20 on 5' (yep, times are tight when I'm paying cash for my fuel) and a woman walked out of the store as I'm walking up, classic suburbanite climbing into her Lexus SUV, dressed nice, hair and makeup near perfect, and she looked at me and just flashed the nicest, most courteous and genuine smile and said 'Hello'. Now how can I not respond to that? I mean, I definitely did not want to be 'a snooty bitch' and not respond, or flash a 'fake smile' so I smiled back. I was pleasantly surprised and returned the 'Hello', and it was genuine.  A friendly interaction that could have been shrugged off, but the fact that it re-aligned my perspective on my Monday issues making me realize that the only way to go is up, the whole thing felt good.

The whole 'incident' got me thinking that life's not so bad, and that there is a lot of value in a genuine smile. The value perceived may vary by person, but think of how a smile can change your day or better yet, someone else's day. I'm not trying to be the rah-rah smile cheerleader, but if you want to make a difference in someone's day or your own, flash a pretty little smile and see what happens.

~Cat~

Somewhat girlie night..

So, as I was feeling a little girlie tonight drinking my Skinny Girl Margarita and listening to my Adele station on Pandora, I couldn't help but feel a little bit of sadness and guilt whenever Amy Winehouse showed up on the playlist. I'd think to myself, 'No other voice will compare to her', and 'So bummed I never got to see her in concert.' I have a couple of her CD's, and her F*#k Me Pumps is one of my favorite songs. I have always had a soft spot for gals with soulful voices: Amy, Joss, Adele, and Etta as they have somehow touched a part of my heart because of the depth and soul that their voices so represent. Historically, there have been artists that have fallen to rest in peace at the same age and time in their careers as Amy did, but you can't help but feel sadness that no one was there to help her come out of her dark place before she fell. Was this a classic case of the rock star lifestyle? Or is it just a reminder of how deep and lost artists (musically or any other art form) can get at certain points of their careers? The pressures to produce material, fallen relationships, loneliness..they all play some role in an artist's journey. The evidence is often in their songs. For the average person, obviously seeking solace in drugs is not likely to lead to a productive solution. After all, what kind of boss will say it's ok you missed a meeting because you were hungover from your overdose the night before? Sorry, a bit of cynicism. But, it kind of serves as a lesson. A lesson to not fall to the bottom alone.  There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. One is typically not so bad, after all, who doesn't appreciate a little down time and alone time every once in a while?..but when you fall and find yourself lonely versus alone is when you have to find the strength to seek help. Oftentimes, that is a test of one's inner strength. So, is it fair to ask if some of the artists that have searched for solace in a mind altering drug really that strong of a person? Sometimes, the answer is no and the unfortunate issue evolves to the pressure of being a celebrity. Part of the full circle. Amy did say that she was 'just a musician'. What kind of 'musician' are you in your corner of the world?

We can't go through life seeking for a cheat way, easy way, no effort way, non-challenging way..you get my point out to find minimum exerted effort in life and call it successful, right? Adversity comes full circle. Your inner strength is tested in times of adversity. Pressure to get the job done right, produce a sufficient amount of sales numbers, athletic statistics, write and record a hit song..an internationally known musician just has extra perks, right?..Oh, wait..so it's ok. Mental issues have a way of exposing their ugly heads when a person is lonely at the bottom with no one to help pick them up, or when the pressures of your career lead to such intense amounts of pressure that you crack or cave into an easy way out..only to find yourself alone when it comes to crunch time. I can't help but wonder if the element of self-responsibility becomes a factor that needs to be re-evaluated? Well, I'd say yes. After all, in the end we are each responsible for ourselves and our own actions.

R.I.P. Amy. I will jam your beautiful, troubled songs, and keep you in my memories for years to come.

Life's Edge

Sometimes all a girl needs is a good cry. Sometimes a soak in the tub with a glass of wine will do. Sometimes getting lost on a trail run and being alone with just her thoughts and endorphins is all she needs. No matter whatever it takes to help clear her head, she must keep her head straight, put her needs first, and compartmentalize her thought processes so she can move forward with success and never cower in fear. The thought of being lost and overwhelmed is well, overwhelming and can drive a girl to the edge. It’s what she does on that edge that matters the most. If she goes crazy she’ll fall and ultimately lose control. If she maintains her logic, faces reality, and stares adversity in the face she stands tall and wins. 

~Cat~

Expectations

What are expectations? Are they self-imposed events, processes, things, etc. that one looks forward to happening or arriving at? The loose term from a Webster’s American Dictionary states that an expectation is ‘the act or state of expecting.’ And to expect is to ‘look for as likely to happen or arrive.’ But oftentimes in life, I find my expectations aren’t met, personally and professionally. There are several approaches to consider from this point as I focus on self-reflection: Are my expectations too high? Am I communicating effectively? Does the person not realize my expectations or even care of my expectations? Is it better to just not have expectations at all, and therefore eliminate the risk of being disappointed in whatever situation? That’s a really difficult task for me. I know my weaknesses: lack of patience, insecurities with myself, and confidence in my capabilities to excel at times. So if I were to counter-balance or attack my weaknesses I could say that my insecurities should be fuel to excel and prove that I am completely capable of what I set my mind to and that people close to me won’t or have no intention of hurting me, at least not on purpose…wait, was that last part a dish of my insecurities?

There are certain personality types who you know will not meet your expectations. And most times it benefits you to not associate with those personality types. But what if you don’t have a choice but to associate with those types of personalities at some point in your life? Do you just give them a free pass? Won’t that essentially inhibit growth for everyone? Yes, in my humble opinion. But to not focus on the negative and disappointment of such situations, it would behoove the typical high expectations personality type to adjust their expectations according to the situation. It’s the least someone can do and if done effectively will benefit all parties involved and encourage ‘self and intellectual growth.’ We learn it as parents, as professionals, as friends, as partners, and as self-fulfilling individuals to adapt. And that is what brings about growth and contributes to making the world a better place to be in.

Expectations can be clear and sometimes an entity will stop meeting your expectations. That is a sign of growth for the individual, a test of adaption, and an opportunity for self-reflection. Self-reflection brings about growth for the individual and oftentimes opens doors of opportunity that otherwise would not have been noticed. Take note, I said ‘noticed’. Opportunity is always there, it just may not be what you are expecting.

I welcome input on the subject matter as I know I have only scratched the surface. Expectations and opportunity evaluation are areas that carry many perspectives and methods, as they are as unique as the individual. 

~Cat~           


Your body is meant for movement. Your brain and intellect are meant to be challenged.  Fulfill your human prophecy, explore your freedoms, and set out to do everything that you imagine (within the law of the land, of course).  :)